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As I make my way to his kitchen, I take in the ostentatious decanter and glinting bowl filled with blown-glass fruit. Suddenly, she pulled away and held my shoulders tightly. Years later, she would tell me that she saw a lot of herself in me. They met when they were teenagers and stayed married until he died. It's rare, but I've even had multiple dates on the same day. I miss those jittery butterflies that once wrecked havoc on my stomach. In many ways, I pride myself on handling so much on my own. At the same time, I can't help but wonder: Am I missing the beauty of getting vulnerable in front of a man? I'll find myself lounging on Baker Beach rereading and declaring a break from men. My rampant dating has put me in harm's way in the past.

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I wake up wrapped up in the arms of *Hareton and his extravagant silk sheets. Nothing dramatic happened—we just (slowly) learned that we weren't right for each other. Don't get stuck in the wrong relationship this early in your life." "B-b-b-but, don't you love Papi? The one I slept with used a sketchy lube during sex and I had an allergic reaction to it.

The decor of his luxe-y one-bedroom apartment is the sheer opposite of the post-frat house dwellings I frequently encounter. Still, my excessive crying literally dehydrated me and I shed several pounds. We looked like one woman, the elder guiding the younger self. " My—now deceased—grandfather was one of the best men I've ever known. Though I had truly loved Dean, I realized then that my incessant flirting and dating proved that my relationship pattern was of the more, well, promiscuous variety. The most dates I've ever had in a week was five—all with different guys. As I screeched in pain, I couldn't help but think, "karma is a bitch! Even the double double date didn't, really—I just cared about not getting caught. I feel like I'm some lone love warrior roaming an endless battlefield.

One night it's wine and the sunset; the next, I'm slow dancing and giggling to The Rolling Stones.

I absolutely love hearing different perspectives and catching a glimpse of an array of lifestyles.

The past few weeks have been crazy ones here at Whats Your

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Most of it began when I was rebounding off my first big love, *Dean. The couple we were out with silently laughed while I introduced the men to each other and sent both flirty text messages under the table.

But in the midst of my heartbreak, I didn't recognize it. But as any of my friends can attest, those phases never last long. One guy angrily held a dulled knife to my neck while we were at a bar while another stalked me for months following our date.

When you first join an online dating site, it’s exciting to see an overflowing inbox of men or women who are interested in communicating with you.

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